Sunday, December 26, 2021

Clouds of Teargas

Everything looks more promising through clouds of tear gas anyway

A sweet billowing haze of tears

Tears

Through ducts and sharpens the corneas

Wise mean split swords to suppose

One can see the weakness of a man right through his iris

Like hobbits and women, the struggles of men are not for all beings

For so much is superior to the ego and might of the grown adolescents

We call men

To tears

Because of the promises through clouds of gas anyway

Everything looks more promising

Then the clouds of tear gas

When the man stand in their riot gear

Protecting nothing from nothing

Or people from their freedom

Men will insist on choosing for you

Armed to the teeth

Spewing for clouds of tear gas

Promising away everything

To other men

To another man

Simply crying from all the things

In clouds of tear gas.

On the asphalt

Resting beneath the restless clouds

Not those of mountaintops

And sierra nevadas

But the raunchy aromas of men's toys

Plastic castles covered in mildew

On the shower floor

After PE

Where the boys tossed other boys

Into trashcans

To the sounds of tears

Like the echoes through clouds

Of promises through the haze of angry soldiers

Everything clearer without clouds

The shields transparent

Like martial law

Rules at the end of baton

jzustice in the courts of imprisonment

Hope stepped upon

Like the dark asphalt

Upon which the men 

Lean their straw heads

The rest of us looking elsewhere

As if fore a divergent wood in a yellow wood

Since everything looks more promising through clouds of tear gas anyway


Oakland, CA

Thursday, August 20, 2020

The Vineyards Burn

I

    Ashes fall from the sky like the entrails of spirits lynched from gods.  Fires burn their melting tentacles into a destructive omnipotence, the science wrath of death, the crimson clouds painted with the blood of the earth, the great storms of turf wars built up into a sky of effervescent hate, the knowledge of centuries dwindling to the ground like forgotten lovers.

    Alexandria burned much the same way, with a Caesarian wit to light the wick, the words of humanity unravelled and composted like ordinary garbage, the experience of humanity deconstructed into ember magic of disappearing fates, erasing the livelihood of history.

    There aren't enough synonyms for smoke.  Fumes of effort evaporate like exhaust in the traffic sun where the work of billions vaporizes into one day after another day and another day in the any other ways and means in which nature's greatest mistake fries itself.

    Gasoline is the cocktail of happy hours across the planet, the stripped blood and plasma nourishment of a planet set alight.  Cheers to the martinis and cosmopolitans!  Great speech writers take the stage to highlight their concern, outside the bodies smolder and stench, foul death in the air like fresh flesh on the grate of qn unclean grill.

    Spending hours and upon hours contemplating the nature of fission is like staring into the sun - when fusion explosion traps grab hold of the senses and say, like sickness in the halls of the morgue, that enough is enough.  Blind elders explaining that the end is nigh, the world collapses on the cots of refugees, while spires of infernos are only symptoms of a much greater illness.

    The sickly might of a sickly child coughing into the bosom of a fearful mother, the escape makes no sense other than death.  To flee, to breathe, to sleep, to rub... perchance to dream.  These weaponized hopes of escapism are nothing more than the illusory reality, the fabricated truth, the rested exhaustion of a people on the verge of death.

    No sugar, no candy, no confection, no sweet relief.  None of these little treats will replace the bounty of grapes and bread where the mother and milk nourished the mind for unending days, the careful maternal careers of matriarchs who wanted only to survive to see the smiles - their laughing child safe at home.

    Candy is but a luxury... and candy everybody wants.  Lust and hate, is that the candy?  Blood and love decidedly taste so sweet.  Stealing from others the brilliance that they offer and in hopes of keeping it for themselves?  A sharing economy should be redundant and still the halls are packed with the coughing and the lame - rusted off limbs and rubbed out eyes, the blind, deaf and otherwise senselessness that condemns everyone to the same fate.

    But why rush?  What is the rush?  Why is there need to hurry?  Run to windows, stare at the heavens, listen to their shrieks... the clouds are still red, the sun does not shine, the light spreads across the injured land and the world begs to return to a moment when it could breathe, turning about in space, spinning around a jubilant sun, the radioactive explosions of a central light lifting everyone.


II

Time is gone and lost.  Death is mere breaths away.

The fools of forever, they thrive in the now.

They school yard taunts of bullies

Smash against the mind; the cranium

Where forgotten assignments are swatted away

With illiterate anger

Unwillingness to learn

The human experience stunted on its own

Eroticism only just a jerk

To tug at the hearts of hollow men

Those bangs and whimpers all cry out the same

The pained forgetfulness of abused childhoods

Trauma upon trauma overwhelming any hope

Panic stretching the valley thin

The tempest of emotions, retching

Refuse colliding in midstream

Animals on hind-legs

Burnt dreams to the bottom of the basin

Nothing will grow here.


Fallow fields in shallow dirt

Roots do not stretch

Petals do not climb to the sky

Nothingness reaching for the heavens

Plants fight each other merely for survival

Twisting their stems and stalks

Pushing down anything that cannot grow

So that life alone is a laddered climb

To fight your neighbors

On the backs of kin

Thrusting those closest to you

To the ground beneath

So that they fertilize

The earth which might've nourished them.


Calculating the patterns is never difficult

The life on earth has been growing in the same way

For millions of years

Where the dead feed the living

Where the living die

And the earth spins on

Its axis no more than a titled turn

To and from the stars in heaven

The concern for one's self no more important

No more of value 

Than the genocides of humanity

There is no right to care

When there is only selfishness

In a hell of ignorant greed.


The men that think their gods,

Making weather and storms

Complaining of the rain

When the fault is not supernatural,

Nor the fault even natural

The answers have been there for years

As simple as it was to rape the ground

The answers as simple as paralysis,

Cessation, finding the way for others

Making a world that thrived in balance

Still the scales are tipped

The balances pressed to the side of the masters

The weights a fiction

The burden overwhelming

The starving are sick

The sick are burning

The hellacious wrath of a celestial bodies

On fire in heaven

Descending piecemeal like some evil confetti

To celebrate a the burning sphere

Of man's own greedful enterprise

Deflated balloons and millions on the move

While the blood flees the flesh

And the richest masticate the tendons between their teeth

Gulping down the carnage like blue ribbon pie

Prize winning garbage nourishing their souls.


III

    It's really sad to sit under precipitous ash with a red sun in the sky and act like this is something that could have never beenpredicted. Wineries that nourished drunken delight now burned, evacuees in the sickened houses of parents who risk death to avoid death, hurricanes simultaneously building like body counts on the other side of the continent.  The search for words persists all night, yet that search remains as uncertain as the jumbled feelings - everything uncertain: positivity and negativity almost collide; then repulse as if this were some unescapable magnet.   Pouring the world into a cup of questions and, the answers are murky, like when that first pharaoh chose to build a pyramid.  A certain resolute realization, "I cannot do this all myself."  Followed by the realization, "They could do it all for me."  If humanity can build the world to it's end, can it not deconstruct the end back to it's genesis?  Is everything so certainly finite?  To a place where the finality of man's more infirm nature is his own best friend instead of his worst enemy?  When will people ask how?  They may never. As the cauldron boils and the fire rages in the logs beneath the pot, the last thoughts are not how to get out but how to withstand the burning, the boiling, the melting flesh as it renders into the broth, the grasses and bark and weeds and flowers - the final aromatic touches for the human consommé in which bodies dissipate, a tasty gluttony of human salt and fat fit only for the monsters of industry.


IV

    Return to the cribs and cradles of our own salvos, mobs and hordes at the gates of eden pleading with their maker for a second chance, apology prayers and radioactive wails that crest the walls of the fortified paradise, gaps between the slats of bones that keep out the the underserving.

    A promised Moses to a promised land where they all may enter, except the lone voice of dissent?  Is this how men learn to disagree?  When the apple goads the soul and the rock quenches the thirst, who run's from instinct only to hear that being made in the image of your maker is no image at all.  Hypocrite ties that demand willful ignorance, mutilated obedience, logic meals that feed only the already full.  How does one eat when they are too starved to sit at the table?

    Raging specters of hollow worth, vengeful planets carried by a sickened Atlas, knee buckling selfishness that underpins the overwhelming weight of this thoughtless place, built logically on Newtonian and Christian principles.  To each and every action is the need to treat others the same... the burning fields and slaughtered children fill the smoky sky with their ghosts and fury of howling counterpoint victims - all they do is cry on to the earth much like God's children: "Why have you forsaken me?"

    Nail dagger spike bolts piercing the edges of coffins, tickling the palms of flesh, the blood trickling to the dusty terrain below.  There on the hilltop for virgin mothers to watch, the humanity passed over, the compassion edicts of dictator punishments leaving the wounded to the wolves, hungry not for food but for blood, they lap up the drops before they dry in the blistering desert sun.

    The hoarding mass of minority, the few overcompensated stake holders that dangle the crumbs from their windows as the gardeners tend to the inedible roses below, pricking on the stem, the hand still bleeds.  Protein from the flesh, complex carbohydrates from the broken promises of the master above.  Their wealth shall feed the work in the yard, while forced teat sucking at the bosom of exhausted mothers wondering why the child starves even when the mother is starving.

    Milk is not for wasting, crops are not for burning, roads are not for blocking, boats are not for sinking.  The effort of the experience should be shared.  The most undernourished children that survive the reckoning of viscous story times do the most damage, abused lions starved in a cage, let loose upon Christians, by Christians; Christ would never forgive what you do.

    The animal snarls from the classroom exhibits, where the famished fingers from the caged beast children reach out for love.  They find only the fittest survive.  They devour the truth of hunger and hate.  They feast on the rotten flesh of their weaker siblings.  These phantasmic misfits, murdered by human hunger, fall back down from the sky and onto the multitudinous silos where the grapes of wrath are stored.

    Where a fig and cluster, where a tree and vine offer secured shade and thirsty nutrition, these are leaves under which the softer lessons of life are not taught.  Blackboards and white boards are the evolution of technology but the lessons are null set technological advances - the answers undefinable, the methods punitive, the reason lost only to authoritarian commandments - thoughts deposited before entry in the celestial vineyards.

    Machines in the sky twirl their metal rotors to the sound of fictitious humanitarian assistance, built on budgets that are meant for civic destruction.  The wars of centuries only inhabit self-certainties.  The traditions of people based only on murderous triumph or tear-bursting famine.  The war machines that save implemented only from boredom... when there's nothing to kill... when there's nothing to kill...

    What should men do in their spare time?  Put children in the zoo, lock women in their homes, put the hungry in the fields and tell them not to touch, not to take... promising, "There will not be enough." The mirage of necessity is a beacon not of fools, but a hologram for the fattened calfs.  Tear down the screens, the projections, the falsified mandates, and eat those lie mongering veal steakmen.

    Polite society is the oxymoron.  This has been said time and time and time again... and certainly bears repeating.  Like the grapes that grow every fall and the barrel-aged wine of maturity, this drunken mastery of the civilian's better senses is the hardest to manufacture.  How to peddle fiction with the hungry mouths of babes who cry from their cribs next their parents' bed.

    Someday the rains will not moisten the roots.  Someday the ash will not fall.  There will be nothing left to burn.  Someday the blood will not drip from the hungry souls nor will the stank flesh of unfed mothers compost the field.  Someday there will be nothing left to press, nothing left to squeeze, the scorched earth nature of man's worst inclinations, inclined to leave the fields dry, empty, without minerals, without mouisture, without salvation.  

    When the land is burned and the earth is singed what will you drink then? What will you eat then?  Your own bellies distended from hunger, your common sense vicious like a starving tiger.  There will be nothing left to grow and you will look across the field and all you will see is each other: wounded prey on which to feast, hoping for one last hateful gasp into the bloodletting you've insisted on perpetually cultivating.

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Galaxy Novenas

Forced words like blood through ventricles
The power of the mind
To function without consciousness
Like the heart, like the lungs
The body transmits its many necessities without my permission
Where I dream that I may be
That existence is this intentional effort
I progress without any intention of my own
Seeking control over that which I have none.

Days alight by a sun beyond my reach
Nights descend with a darkness I cannot grasp
I react without intention
I succumb to instinct without meditation
Stars that shoot across a sky
Are no more real to me than nightmares
Wishes that beset my experience
No more actual than solar winds
Like the passage of time at the bottom of a black hole.

Answers are found less in intention than in action
The cosmic truth is far more permanent than my own
Planetary rings and bottomless wells of gravity
Far greater testaments to time and God
Where the nothingness of science is everything
My own certainty of existence a flickering fleck
Pockmarked on the skin of the earth
A particle of dust spread across a weary rock
Deep beyond my own breaths.

Where the functions of the universe
Move as motley as my own existence
The blood of physics pounds
Rules against bodies bound for brutal endings
Incalculable outcomes for which they have no concern
The irrationalities and insecurities about which I worry
Fractions of consciousness contrasted
Against the million movements within me
Over which I have no control.

Monday, July 15, 2019

Independence, Oregon

Green fields, like emeralds where the ransom for a day's peace is only a deep breath.
The trees run across the ridge like that same squirrel's tail, the one who wanted nothing to do with you.
Sunlight spackles the clouds and the hues of blue come and go in the passing shade -
From beneath such pillows, briefly escaping the bright of day - sanctuary from above;
The hills roll into the switchbacks down the mountain side, where gravity accelerates everything.


Pulling the axles and the wheels into position along the curved roads takes more concentration than it's worth.
Steering a car is a matter of survival but it can be quite restrictive.
Staying inside the lines is such an ingrained skill, you hardly notice what it might be like
If the our scientific boundaries permitted us flight or excavation.  We might not need such constraints
Such that we might soar over land and tunnel through the earth - alas, these are not our talents.


Nevertheless, this is some world of imagination, where the jade and amber hillsides touch upon a dream. 
Here in the sanctuary of space and freedom can lines blur into a cascading wave of emotion.
For words to matter the brain must indignantly connect with this Earthly reality.
Yet among the clouds and the leaves, the spirit can soar like not like an animal but, instead, deified.
The elastic nature of the universe is always reluctant to reveal itself but when the irons are shed
One may pause and feel the freedom of one's outstretched arms, unbound, capable in any space,
When one finally arrives here in Independence after having travelled from anywhere else.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Agapanthas

The agapanthus step out from underneath the curtain
Gardeners do not attack upon the stalk of bloom
Tentacles of summer stretching into the season
Time spinning around the bulbs
The grunge of the fungi leaves the orchids to forgive

Those damn stalks burn their blooms into the dry sun
Cells dried upon the flower, like flesh from bone.
Still like the casketed, painted like stone
Where the forever is not a matter of debate
But only matters as to interpretation

The leaves of grass sing, where the embers of spring die
The flowers of before bloom eternal
And ideas of tomorrow could never bloom.
Theorizing science is the nature of man
Whereas the nature of Nature is to consider none of this

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Hunger

Quiet pain inside
Growing deeper and deeper
A rumble bellows

Feeding the injured-
Instinctive evolution-
Keeps the pain away.

If there is nothing
Can you solve an empty well
With just air and hope?

Feeding the hungry...
What isn't impossible
Creates solutions.

Those empty children
Stomaches wanting nourishment
Need real food to eat.

Yelp

I just left a really long post on Yelp.
I thought I was really clever.
In the end it was pathetic.
I came here to pay penance.
I should at least offer the universe a shitty poem.
I believe have accomplished everything I set out to do here.